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Post by fflurcadwgawn on Dec 12, 2018 5:47:19 GMT
Well, let's just say 2018 is almost over, and what the heck was that!
January: Lost a job.
February: Interviewed for and won another job in social services.
March: Started new job.
April: Chimney fire on Easter Sunday. Got diagnosed with depression & anxiety. Wound up in the ER with stress related dehydration because of being forced to do 70 to 100 intakes in 5 hours PER DAY.
May: Fired from job because of the ER and the boss saying it was too stressful.
June, July, August: Archaeology dig! Discovered the water source of the complex we're studying. Lots and lots of cool finds. Started a new archaeology study that hasn't ever been done before. Cemetery lectures!
September: Interviewed for and won a part time job specifically because of the mental health.
Interviewed for and won a part time job for adult literacy tutoring.
Got asked by a regional think tank to organize two conferences for cemetery topics as they have had requests from 20+ municipalities for such content.
October: Started both jobs on the same day. Hello 2nd shift. Three sexual assault issues at work in the same week = a very cranky and jumpy Fflur and multiple incident reports to the program director.
November: Yay, more counselling because of the assaults!
Dad's hometown approaches me unsolicited to take on cemetery records. I tell them no (otherwise FOUR part time jobs. Yeah......no.)
In the process of trying the keto diet to help the migraines I discovered I'm apparently massively hypoglycemic.
December: Yay, data collecting for a month for hypoglycemia. My frequent anxiety attacks since October are 100% caused by hypoglycemia and NOT work or mental health. Can't get in to the doctor until January, soooo.....data collecting to help identify trends. They're gonna make me anyway.......
This year's New Year's Resolution: Better self care when I need it.
Next year's New Year's Resolution: Better self care maintenance when I need it.
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Post by Stormwatcher on Dec 12, 2018 6:48:22 GMT
Holy smokes, Fflur! That looks like a year of riding a really violent roller coaster. Speaking as a fellow hypoglycemic: lots of luck, this is not an easy thing to manage. I deal with mine by eating small frequent meals (like every 4-6 hours; any longer and I get 'the shakes'), and I base it on carbs because they process into sugar and keep me evened out for longer. Proteins, animal or plant, leave me eating about every 2-3 hours. But I can go carb-heavy because I also have an overactive metabolism and have been underweight for ...since adolescence. I also take a B-complex to manage the anxiety-panic and depression inclination, which helps significantly. In fact I forgot to take it today, and noticed the effect it has when I skip :/. B1, Thiamin, is particularly useful with moods, but the Bs work best when taken as a collective. Hang in there, hope 2019 goes more smoothly for you, and if I can be any help with the data-collection, just ask.  |
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Post by fflurcadwgawn on Dec 12, 2018 16:22:20 GMT
Yeah, the hypoglycemia has definitely been a learning curve, and I'm also pretty tiny, so the carb route is safe for me as well. I have to eat non preservative unprocessed food to manage the migraines (hence why I tried the keto diet. My trigger is glutamate--NOT GLUTEN, this is glutamic acid--and the keto diet specifically blocks extra glutamate in your body) so while the whole foods approach is something that comes very naturally to me, I'm discovering with the data collecting that I'm spiking and crashing in 2 to 3 hours. Last night on shift after telling the supervisor and the manager, the supervisor decided I didn't need to eat outside the meal break, could eat before shift and be fine, only needed to have hard candy with me, and as a result I was in the middle of a major anxiety attack by 9:45 pm from not eating (perspective: I ate dinner at 7:30 and was drinking a sugar based rehydration drink all evening......). I had two pieces of spelt toast and was fine. On the plus side, when I did my anthropology fieldwork I did paleodietary analysis with First Nations cultures and specifically studied poverty and diabetes. It's just going to be a challenge to figure out via the data what I need to do food wise to keep from crashing so hard.
It's a very frustrating challenge right now and it feels like the supervisor at work decided the anxiety isn't a valid issue because it's food related (work is a mental health peer run program). *bangs head on desk*
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Post by Stormwatcher on Dec 13, 2018 2:07:56 GMT
Grrrrrrrr!! Your supervisor...! And in a mental-health program, of all the confounded places to encounter such a....!!!
...Maybe try putting it to them in these terms: if they attempted to prevent a diabetic from blood-testing and insulin-adjusting during their shift, they'd be subject to a mountain of legal issues. What they are doing is preventing you from similarly medicating yourself, via diet, to prevent similar blood-sugar complications. Therefore, they can be held legally accountable for any medical issues you do experience as a result of their interference while on shift.
On a side note, I've found that liquid-based efforts to raise the blood sugar (apple or orange juice, soda) don't work nearly as well as solid-based (granola bars, crackers), which is a major nuisance. Seems like the stomach just has to have something solid in there or it starts freaking out. : / But I guess I ought to be grateful it isn't worse; I have no particular food allergies except yellow corn, and my bosses don't give me the attitude yours do. /afflicts your supervisor with your hypoglycemia for 6 months.
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Post by fflurcadwgawn on Dec 13, 2018 14:40:27 GMT
I am the exact same way with the carbs, Storm. My body does better on the solid stuff. Our director is a diabetic, and two of my coworkers were both nurses and EMTS for other jobs, so I am going to talk with the floor manager this week about it. Me being normal means my sugar is hovering around 100, give or take. The anxiety attacks start when it dips into the 70s. The highest spike I have measured since I started this is 130 and at fasting I'm around 81. Not dangerous but it's an answer, and an easy fix. I have a locker at work so I've taken to keeping things like packaged precooked rice, bone broth, rehydration mix, packaged precooked sweet potatoes, small cans of pineapple juice, dried fruit, and instant white potatoes in there. It's just really frustrating right now.  |
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Post by Joyce on Dec 13, 2018 18:19:12 GMT
Holy cow! I certainly hope that 2019 isn't as eventful!!
My youngest daughter has anxiety and we found out recently that she's hypoglycemic. Milk and protein bars help her through the school day.
We also just found out that she has scoliosis... and she carries the big bass drum in marching band.
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Post by fflurcadwgawn on Dec 14, 2018 15:46:36 GMT
I'm struggling to keep the numbers steady in a healthy manner and plain sugar apparently isn't what works for that. I invested in a case of Lara Bar to keep at work. Rawr.
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Post by Stormwatcher on Dec 16, 2018 4:01:27 GMT
Yeah, plain sugar puts me on a yo-yo of sugar rush, sugar crash, sugar rush, sugar crash. Exhausting and unhealthy. I only use a little sugar, to keep it from dropping further while I'm carb'ing up.
Oh, Joyce, that's not good... hope she won't have to have surgery or spend too long in a brace!
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Post by Joyce on Dec 17, 2018 17:44:25 GMT
Yeah, plain sugar puts me on a yo-yo of sugar rush, sugar crash, sugar rush, sugar crash. Exhausting and unhealthy. I only use a little sugar, to keep it from dropping further while I'm carb'ing up. Oh, Joyce, that's not good... hope she won't have to have surgery or spend too long in a brace! I'm hoping she will spend NO time in a brace. She's not got a huge curvature, just enough to make things difficult for carrying a big bass drum or a heavy backpack. Fortunately, the marching season is over and the only parade left is next May (Memorial Day). And her school now issues a Chromebook instead of textbooks so her bag isn't as heavy.
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Post by fflurcadwgawn on Jan 30, 2019 1:41:27 GMT
January: Quit the call line job. I HAVE NATURAL CIRCADIAN RHYTHM SLEEP BACK!!!!!!!!! Still am getting paid to tutor.
Got another adult student and today I managed to teach her number pairs effectively within an hour! When in doubt, have about 5 different ways to teach one concept and at least 1 must not involve anything labelled with numbers, just colors. I used an addition table, flash cards, number fact trees, and fish tank pebbles in colors corresponding to the colors I used on the addition table. Next week's lesson: Poker cards and an abridged Go Fish game. I am trying to get her to the Fibonacci Sequence so we can play with math patterns in nature this spring and summer with pinecones, leaf whorls, and flower heads.
My students are now reading Narnia and A Wrinkle in Time.
Tomorrow and the following day: Every school in western New York State, including where I tutor for adult GEDs, is closed due to -35 F windchill combined with a major wind storm.
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Post by Joyce on Feb 1, 2019 18:06:43 GMT
Yeah, we just had that polar vortex in my area. Schools were shut down for two days. Windchill dropped to something like -35 degrees. My work even shut down for a day! And just to make things interesting, temps are supposed to be near 50 on Sunday and Monday! Nothing like a 70+ degree change in 5 days. Michigan is having mood swings.
Love Narnia! I read Wrinkle in Time for the first time last year and thought it was way too weird...
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Post by Stormwatcher on Feb 5, 2019 3:52:49 GMT
We had some of that polar stuff come sailing through too, Joyce, but we didn't hit the degrees you did! We were hitting about 15 at night, 20-odd during the day. Then today we got to about 60. Crazy; we're due to be in the warm until Friday, when we plummet back down to the 30s and low 40s again. I think the whole mid-north-east is having mood swings. Or that darn groundhog is faking us out!
A Wrinkle in Time is rather weird; I like it, but I had a much easier time of it once I replaced 'tesseract' with 'teleport' and went on from there. I've lately finished up the Hobbit and am just entering Moria in Fellowship of the Ring. 'Balin son of Fundin Lord of Moria'. Sigh.
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Post by Joyce on Feb 6, 2019 10:36:45 GMT
We had about a 60 degree swing in temperatures in about 4 days! From -20 to near 50! Today we’ve got an ice storm to deal with. Goodie.
I know this will be an unpopular opinion but... I hated reading The Hobbitt! I tried reading it again and again but could never slog my way through. I finally listened to the audiobook. The writing is SO dense! It drive me nuts!
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Post by Shane on Feb 6, 2019 19:41:32 GMT
I know this will be an unpopular opinion but... I hated reading The Hobbitt! I tried reading it again and again but could never slog my way through. I finally listened to the audiobook. The writing is SO dense! It drive me nuts! In that case, stay far away from The Silmarillion. Stylistically, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings are a breeze by comparison. It tells the story of the First Age of Middle-earth, but it's not a novel. It has more in common with, for example, a book on Greek or Norse mythology. Tolkien worked on it throughout his life, and it was finally published posthumously due to his son's efforts. It's an important book for anyone who is really interested in Tolkien's mythology, but it's a far more challenging read than its predecessors. It has an enormous cast of characters, and Tolkien's hobbit habit of referring to some characters by several different names makes it harder to keep track of who's who. I've read it twice. The second time was to brush up for a discussion with Bridget on the old HDA. It was easier the second time around. |
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Post by Stormwatcher on Feb 7, 2019 3:14:56 GMT
I keep *trying* to get through the Silmarillion, and I keep banging up against the brick wall of too much too soon too...shallow. It really reminds me of how I make author's notes: I jot stuff down to keep my timeline and certain details straight in my head, and my notes make complete sense to me because I already know what's going to happen, more or less. I imagine they'd make a lot less sense to anyone else. And that's the vibe I get from that tome, that it was meant more for Tolkien himself as reminders and verifications than really for general reading. It's universe-building; fascinating stuff, but mainly for the author's benefit.
I love the Hobbit, my father first read that to me when I was small, not long after the Narnia books. So I guess I never got a 'heavy' feel from that. LOTR, yes, there's a lot of paragraphs you can skip in there and not lose the flow of the story, and I used to do that when I was younger, but nowadays I like getting the geography- mythology- travelogue feel. Mostly. He did build a fascinating world!
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Post by Shane on Feb 7, 2019 8:12:21 GMT
I keep *trying* to get through the Silmarillion, and I keep banging up against the brick wall of too much too soon too...shallow. It really reminds me of how I make author's notes: I jot stuff down to keep my timeline and certain details straight in my head, and my notes make complete sense to me because I already know what's going to happen, more or less. I imagine they'd make a lot less sense to anyone else. And that's the vibe I get from that tome, that it was meant more for Tolkien himself as reminders and verifications than really for general reading. It's universe-building; fascinating stuff, but mainly for the author's benefit. That's not too surprising given the book's history. Tolkien wanted The Silmarillion published, but his publisher rejected it when first approached. It was an incomplete draft and the publisher basically wanted more hobbits. This was before LOTR was published, and The Hobbit is more of a beginner's guide to Middle-earth. LOTR is where the mythology really began to take shape for Tolkien's readers. When Christopher Tolkien was trying to whip the book into a publishable state, he ended up working with some of his father's earlier texts, including the earliest sketches which went back to the First World War. In some cases, Tolkien's ideas hadn't been fleshed out and other texts were missing. Consequently, Christopher had to fill in some gaps himself. Given all that, the author's notes feeling is understandable. |
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Post by fflurcadwgawn on Mar 2, 2019 5:40:01 GMT
February: Tutoring grant said no more payrolls allowed.......
Got two cemetery talks already lined up for this year. One is in 5 days.
4 job interviews in 8 days at the beginning of February. Just gotta wait for background checks to come back through.
Decided to start charging a fee to clean headstones as there are very few who do it in this area. We'll see who bites. I've already limited it to a maximum of 2 per week so if I get a full time job I'm not overworked but I have something fun that's not strictly counselling centered.
Registered for an info session at my alma mater to go back to school for social work with a minor in business to hopefully keep a full time job.......:grimacing:
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Post by JD on Mar 5, 2019 3:52:30 GMT
Hope one or more of the interviews pays off!
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Post by fflurcadwgawn on Jul 4, 2019 12:30:11 GMT
Ugh. 2019 isn't any better.
January: Quit a job because it was affecting my mental health way too much.
February: Got fired from another job. Again.
March: Had to put my cat down. Cancer.
Got accepted back to school for social work!
Got a job tutoring!
April: Finally beat depression!
May: Started bullet journaling. Only five bad days all month! WIN.
June: On June 3, pulled/dislocated a rib at an archaeology dig I volunteer with. Excruciating pain and not being able to sit for long periods of time for weeks. 2 trips to the chiropractor to take care of it. Spiraled back into depression because of the constant pain.
Got rearended (I'm ok, and thank heaven for plastic bumpers. Minimal cosmetic damage to my car).
July: Finally, no pain from my injury!
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Post by Scott on Jul 5, 2019 9:09:45 GMT
I'm sorry about your cat, and your dislocated rib. I hope whoever rearended your car had insurance.
I'm know it's no picnic, but you have an interesting life.
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Post by Stormwatcher on Jul 6, 2019 7:12:06 GMT
Oh, dear, Fflur, I've had to put two kitties down...it's such a painful experience, even though you know you're ... Sasha just jumped up on the desk and started begging for attention, I can't even complete that thought. :offers a fluffy black cat to pet: She's very vain of her tail, this one.
And the rib, oh ow, my father did that in a fall from a horse. So glad you're feeling better now! And glad that accident didn't do you further harm. Here's hoping the rest of the year behaves itself!
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Post by JD on Jul 14, 2019 21:37:46 GMT
Oh Fflur, I do hope things have started looking up for you! I'm so very, very sorry about having to put down your cat. I'm starting to anticipate that, as ours are both 13 now. Hope your ribs are healing well.
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Post by fflurcadwgawn on Aug 31, 2019 13:33:44 GMT
I've started back to school this week and so far it's amazing.
Yesterday in my generalist practice class the professor asked us who thought they were mentally strong enough to not take work home with them.
Every single one of the traditional students who have yet to work properly in the field raised their hands.
Then she asked us who was mentally weak. I and two others who already have worked in the field raised our hands (I just did trauma therapy this winter to take care of some major work related PTSD that was causing serious depression and anxiety). The professor told us that her goal by the end of the course was to get us mentally strong so we could work appropriately with clients and not take the stress home with us.
I've also got the hypoglycemia and scent allergy issues on record with the students with disabilities office--I'm stupid not to. I have a block of classes from 10 to 1 and I have to get up at 5 am to get to school before the car park vulture game starts (yesterday they kept blocking me in and honking angrily at other cars to leave). My evening professor actually announced the first day of class that we could eat in class if we had to.
The other good thing is that the campus counseling center does informal Let's Talk counseling session times starting next week, plus they have walk in hours available, so when crap hits the fan when seasonal affective disorder hits in October/November I can immediately address things. I also figured out a med combination that actually works for me for depression (catnip + St Johns Wort) and things have been great this week for once.
Oh, and I found a professor who may be willing to sponsor undergrad research I really want to do for my consulting firm (and can't do until I have social work casework credentials)! I also am already receiving internship and job offers because I'm going back for social work.
WHEW.
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Post by JD on Sept 22, 2019 3:34:00 GMT
Sounds as if things are looking up a bit, which is good. |
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Post by Stormwatcher on Sept 24, 2019 6:04:00 GMT
Fflur, glad to see things have been going well for you!
I bet every one of those students who thinks they won't take their work home is in for a harsh awakening. I think they'll be a bit surprised at how hard it can be to leave it behind.
I just lately had a Heimlich-CPR class at work, taught by a thoroughly inept instructor who left me solidly convinced that nobody better have heart failure in my vicinity, because if they do, they are TOAST. (I mean, never mind that it's changed drastically since I was initially taught in high school...) A couple weeks later and that's still nagging at me: the thought of someone else's physical or emotional well-being in your keeping can make a pretty serious impression.
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