Post by Rokia on May 27, 2017 3:44:19 GMT
Originally posted by our lovely Lola...
Letter to God from a Dog
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still
the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler
Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember - to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw
it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell.
3. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are laps.
4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
5. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
6. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.
7. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -
not after.
10. I will not throw up in the car.
11. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing. And, finally, My last question
. .
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
Letter to God from a Dog
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still
the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler
Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember - to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw
it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell.
3. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are laps.
4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
5. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
6. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.
7. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -
not after.
10. I will not throw up in the car.
11. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing. And, finally, My last question
. .
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
