Post by mamabear on May 23, 2021 22:32:54 GMT
Sorry about that. Life got super busy. My mom, whom I've been taking care of, has gone downhill and it's been a big job. Although she has gained strength, she has dementia and her mind is just gone. She'll fight you over everything; meals, bathroom, shower, literally everything is a struggle. My dad had to cut back his hours at work to help out and was only working one day a week. He was just shy of retirement age, so he couldn't quite retire yet. He'd never really learned how to be a caretaker or a cook, so it was a bit of an entertaining process teaching him how to cook and watching him learn how to function more independently. He really had a way with Mom and did so well with her. He was so patient, much more than anyone I've ever met. After some learning curve, he really started to get the hang of it, so I was able to focus more on my kids' schoolwork and activities and take some of the strain off of my husband, who had risen to the occasion to take over most of it for me.
And then, 10 days ago, I got a phone call from my aunt. It was nearly 11:00 at night, and this aunt is usually a very early riser and thus goes to bed very early as well. I knew something was wrong. I expected her to tell me Mom had passed away. I just knew it.
I answered the phone and she breaks the news. She tells me my dad has passed away.
Wait, what? My dad? I guess he had a heart attack in the night and passed away. My aunt and uncle were out visiting and helping out with my mom at night (because she rarely sleeps so it's a team effort at night), and my uncle had bolted awake, with the feeling something was wrong. He went to check on Dad, and he was already gone.
I'm still in shock. I don't know what to do or what to think. I want to ask Dad for advice because he always knew what to do. But I can't do that now. I had been preparing myself to lose Mom, I wasn't ready for this. I feel so lost now. My brother flew out the next day and helped with all the arrangements. He wanted to be cremated, but he also had grave plots in the cemetery where his mother is buried. We got through the funeral, but haven't done anything with the ashes yet. My brother will be making another trip out in a few months, and we're going to take a portion of the ashes and go up to the nearby mountain and scatter them. Dad was an avid hunter, hiker, camper, and all around outdoorsman so it seems fitting. But because we don't want to waste his plot and Mom has already put in her will that she wishes to be embalmed, we'll bury the rest in the cemetery.
So anyway, that's my life lately. It's going to be more time consuming than ever taking care of Mom, without Dad to help out, so I may not be on much. Today, she's having a pretty calm day but most days she's a real handful. So I'll be in when I can, and hopefully you can forgive me for the inconsistent presence.
And then, 10 days ago, I got a phone call from my aunt. It was nearly 11:00 at night, and this aunt is usually a very early riser and thus goes to bed very early as well. I knew something was wrong. I expected her to tell me Mom had passed away. I just knew it.
I answered the phone and she breaks the news. She tells me my dad has passed away.
Wait, what? My dad? I guess he had a heart attack in the night and passed away. My aunt and uncle were out visiting and helping out with my mom at night (because she rarely sleeps so it's a team effort at night), and my uncle had bolted awake, with the feeling something was wrong. He went to check on Dad, and he was already gone.
I'm still in shock. I don't know what to do or what to think. I want to ask Dad for advice because he always knew what to do. But I can't do that now. I had been preparing myself to lose Mom, I wasn't ready for this. I feel so lost now. My brother flew out the next day and helped with all the arrangements. He wanted to be cremated, but he also had grave plots in the cemetery where his mother is buried. We got through the funeral, but haven't done anything with the ashes yet. My brother will be making another trip out in a few months, and we're going to take a portion of the ashes and go up to the nearby mountain and scatter them. Dad was an avid hunter, hiker, camper, and all around outdoorsman so it seems fitting. But because we don't want to waste his plot and Mom has already put in her will that she wishes to be embalmed, we'll bury the rest in the cemetery.
So anyway, that's my life lately. It's going to be more time consuming than ever taking care of Mom, without Dad to help out, so I may not be on much. Today, she's having a pretty calm day but most days she's a real handful. So I'll be in when I can, and hopefully you can forgive me for the inconsistent presence.
